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Property Flirt

It’s about that time of the week when I feel like a big fat snoop around a grand design so here we are in sunny Langton Green, near Tunbridge Wells – just think of me as a less grumpy Kevin McCloud (and slightly shorter with more hair). Let’s go in and have a poke around. Welcome to our fanciest property yet – but can you guess the price? Shoes off at the front door please, you with the muddy stilettos!

The Hollonds is a stunning Grade II listed Decimus Burton (renowned Victorian architect apparently) country villa with elegant interiors and spectacular far-reaching views, in the village of Langton Green. It’s in a great location, has got that grrrrand country house thing going on, a beautiful garden, surrounded by great schools and is easily one of the most swish properties to grace the Property Flirt spot. Ooh, now your intrigued, right?

Feast your eyes on this magnificent staircase – isn’t it all so sumptuous? There’s over 10, 000 sq ft of accommodation in total. The principal accommodation is in The Villa (I say principal because there’s also a lot os secondary accommodation too – including very large garage, former Coach House, Tennis Court and Tractor Store (you’ve got one of those, right?) Shall we?

As you would expect from a property with such a rich history is combines period features with modern luxuries to a create show-stopping light, bright and stylish home. Perfect for parties and family life. Downstairs is the Drawing Room, Sitting Room, formal Dining Room, Kitchen/Breakfast Room, Conservatory and Study.

You did definitely take your shoes off, right? Good – now let’s glide elegantly up that staircase and poke our heads in the Master Bedroom with en-suite bathroom and dressing room, Master Bedroom with en-suite bathroom and dressing room (obvs). Then there’s a Guest Bedroom (also with en-suite) and 3 further Bedrooms (one en-suite). OMG – there’s even a Hobbies Room. Can I get want one of those – filled with gin and chocolate Hobnobs please?

Outside the garden and grounds extend to approximately 49 acres, yup you read that right, including the tennis court, tractor store and large pond. Look at this view – see how secluded you are, protected by those tall trees. So naked sunbathing is a possibility here, if that sort of thing floats your boat. If not, hang out on the large paved patio relaaaax with a large rosé and entertain al fresco.

A few last clues that definitely bump up the price, The Hollonds, is a rural paradise yet only moments from the centre of Tunbridge Wells and high speed rail links into the Big Smoke. Groombridge Place is on your doorstep, you’re spoilt for choice with top state, grammar and independent schools. Surrounded by sporting and recreational facilities, golf, riding and sailing at Bewl Water.

So fancy this handsome brute in your life? Yeah me too (*quietly sobbing*). But how much will it cost you? No cheating – work out the price you think it’s worth, consult, lay your bets and see how close you get. Brace yourself now. Then check on where your nearest bank is and start planning your raid.

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The Urban Guide to the Countryside - Kent