Can these 7 celebs pull off a moustache?

It takes a certain kind of man to pull off a moustache, and Miles Teller’s Rooster in the new Top Gun has got our surprised seal of approval. Time for a game: TO ‘TACHE, OR NOT TO ‘TACHE? Let us know if you agree in the comments!

MILES TELLER

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Ah, the moustache that set this whole thing off. Sure, we went to see the new Top GunMaverick for the all-guns-blazing, action-packed nostalgia, but we can’t be the only one who came out fixating on Rooster’s moustache. Just as Tom Cruise’s Maverick threw away the rulebook on training pilots, this moustache threw away the rulebook on sex appeal. Why is it hot?? Miles Teller, the troubled drummer in Whiplash, reborn as a hunky pilot through the power of RayBans and a furry friend tickling his bouche. Who’d have thought. 

WITH / WITHOUT

Via Keleigh Teller (@keleighteller

It sharpens his face, somehow.

Verdict: ‘TACHE.

CHRIS EVANS

The Gray Man (2022)

Genuine shudders. For his role as a psychopathic assassin in Netflix’s upcoming film The Gray Man (out in July), the Captain America star adopted possibly the worst-oiled caterpillar of facial hair we’ve ever seen. In the trailer, leading man Ryan Gosling dubs it a “trash ‘stache” and, er, that about sums it up. Never let it be said that actors don’t make sacrifices for their art.

WITH / WITHOUT

Via Chris Evans (@chrisevans

This has to be some kind of crime.

Verdict: NO ‘TACHE.

HENRY CAVILL

Stardust (2007) 

OMG, IS THAT REALLY HIM? Okay, this is possibly a little harsh on Cavill, otherwise known as Superman But, lordy, having dug up his role as the ridiculous Humphrey in 2007’s Stardust, this blond moustache just has to be seen. Truly proof that hair can make or break a man.

WITH / WITHOUT

Stardust (2007) / The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015) 

This is the sort of glow-up that dreams are made of. 

Verdict: Good God, NO ‘TACHE.

SAM CLAFLIN

Do you know what? Fair play. The star of The Hunger Games and Me Before You has sported moustaches for roles as Mycroft in Enola Holmes and Oswald in Peaky Blinders, as well as doing his bit for Movember, and he does an admirable job at pulling it off.

WITH / WITHOUT

Via Tomo Brejc (@tomobrejc) / Sam Claflin (@mrsamclaflin

Hm. Is it all in the cheekbones?

Verdict: Honestly, either. But we’ll give Sam Claflin a pass to ‘TACHE. 

JOE JONAS

Via Jason Kibbler Studio (@jasonkibblerstudio) for Vogue Mexico 

Joe, WHY? The Jonas Brothers and DNCE singer has dabbled in and out with a 70s / 80s style moustache over the years, famously (and terribly) at the 2017 VMAs, as well as in the Jonas Brothers’ 2019 music video Cool. Let’s not beat around the bush here: it’s awful. 

WITH / WITHOUT

Via Joe Jonas (@joejonas

Frankly, Sophie Turner deserves better.

Verdict: NO ‘TACHE.

RAMI MALEK

Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

Have we been staring at pictures of moustaches for too long or is this one okay? Probably it’s the Freddie Mercury charisma, as it was for his role in Bohemian Rhapsody that the actor donned his proper pornstar ‘tache. By all accounts it should be an instant ‘ick’ factor, but somehow he’s still sexy. No? Just us?

WITH / WITHOUT

Mr. Robot (2015) / Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) 

We think it works with his unique face shape.

Verdict: ‘TACHE.

GEORGE CLOONEY

Catch-22 (2019)

Why does this work? Is there anything the man can’t pull off? To be fair, the silver-fox-style moustache is a subtler beast. Less, er, in-your-face. This still is from his role in the 2019 miniseries Catch-22, but Clooney’s not been a stranger to a bit of upper lip decor in his personal life — and not without getting some heat for it. I dunno, I think it’s sort of Richard-from-FRIENDS-esque in its strange attractiveness. 

WITH / WITHOUT

The Monuments Men (2014) / Money Monster (2016)

He’s a sophisticated man and we’ll invite him in to look at the plumbing, facial hair or not.

Verdict: ‘TACHE.

Dare to disagree? Let us know in the comments!

M
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